Are You Addicted To Your iPhone

Are you addicted to your iphone

I think the iPhone has spoiled my touch-interface experience. I keep coming back to my Laptop and keep trying to flick the touch pad to get the screen to scroll up and down. Instead it'll just move a couple of lines and I keep thinking something is broken.

It'll only be a matter of time before I try to turn my laptop on its side thinking it'll go into vertical mode.

Ok, and just the other night I ran my iPhone battery dead playing, staying up much to late, playing Texas Holdem with people from around the world...real time play! I wish I could win like I did in a real casino with real money!

As a Realtor, my iphone provides me with so many useful gadgets that it blows my mind! From widgets that show homes for sale by location, estimated value of any home, mls apps, calculators for mortages, gps, where to eat when I am out of my area, traffic updates....i can go on and on.

There are over 6200 iphone widgets. If you have an iPhone, go explore them in tyhe Apple Widget area. Or, see them all online at http://eco.netvibes.com/widgets/iphone?category=1&page=204



Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, and Trisha Brooks, GRI Re/Max, are ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba, and Trisha Brooks not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette 602-791-1766 and Trish 602-618-3053 today .

Mortgage Application Tips

Applying for a mortgage tips. How to get that mortage interview.

Applying for a home mortgage can be an overwhelming and stressful experience. But with the right knowledge, you can make a tremendous difference to the outcome of your initial mortgage application interview. Follow our proven tips for mastering that ominous interview with the bank and be on your way to home ownership before you know it.



Attire - Your usual clothing ensemble of track pants, NASCAR T-shirt and flip-flop sandals are inadequate for such a meeting. Similarly, clothes with vomit, blood and other bodily fluid stains (or that shirt you’re wearing right now with all of these stains) fare poorly during mortgage interviews. For a better alternative, think back to the clothes you wore at the last funeral you went to, except less drab. Find your best shirt and pants, crack open that unused box of detergent in the basement, learn to use your laundry machine and voila, you’re promoted from street puke to a member of the general populous.

Body Odors - Profuse sweating is the body’s natural response to situations of being %$#@ over with 30 pages of mortgage contracts to sign, this is normal. What’s abnormal is just how putrid the body odors emitting from your rank arm pits are. Wearing deodorant is highlyrecommended.
Breath - The fact that your breath smells like a distillery’s sewer from the several shots of rye earlier this morning is not promising. Then again, neither is the alcohol seeping from your pores from the night before, but there is little you can do about that at this point. While brushing your teeth will help lessen the sharp and distinct cocktail of raw alcohol, garlic bread, onion soup and blue cheese you consumed the night before, you really need to gargle mouth wash one step below “im going to kill myself with industrial solvents”.

Personality - Jokes about “Oh, you mean you want me to pay this money back?” or “If you think my ex-wife has a hard time getting alimony, you should see my track record on mortgages! Har dee har har.” are certain death for any hopes of a mortgage. This humor is comparable to the old “There is a bomb in my suitcase” joke at the airport, which ends with equally poor results. Your repertoire of off-colored political, racial and religious jokes are also going to have dire consequences. Think back to your amateur stand up performance with your child’s school enrolment officer, and the subsequent 45 minute bus ride your kid now takes daily to a different school as a result.

Language - Your normal slang riddled ebonics ”I’ve just stepped out of a rap freestyle contest” conversations will certainly hurt your chances for a mortgage. Try learning some words greater than four letters in length and forming complete sentences while discussing the mortgage with your bank representative.

Intended Use - Your planned use of the property as a grow-op, rave venue, porn shoot locale or arms smuggling depot may best not be discussed during the meeting. Banks sometimes prefer less risky investments.

Security - As just mentioned, banks tend to be adverse to risk. So when asked about your other financial commitments and your track record of timely payment, refrain from comments such as “I took them to the cleaners” or “They never saw me coming”. You want to instill a feeling of security in the people whom will be loaning you the money, and such comments may lessen that security. While asking questions is a good thing to do, limit questions such as “What if I don’t feel like paying anymore?” and “Suppose I decided to embrace a more alternative lifestyle half way through?”.

Addictions - It may not be an opportune time to disclose your unquenchable additions to gambling, porn and illicit drugs. Limit the discussion about yourself to topics that are deemed by society as desirable traits, if you have any. If not, refrain from talking unless absolutely necessary. In terms of appearance, dozens of track marks up your arms and glazed over eyes with bags under them are red flags. Wear a long sleeve shirt and if possible abstain from blowing your mortgage deposit money at the casino or snorting lines of crack off your coffee table 24 hours prior to the interview. Drug dependants and casino junkies tend to fall into the “high risk” category.

With all this useful knowledge under your belt, you’re ready to take on that mortgage interview with confidence and a superb chance of accomplishing your goal. Good luck!

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, and Trisha Brooks, GRI Re/Max, are ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba, and Trisha Brooks not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette 602-791-1766 and Trish 602-618-3053 today .

Basket Building. Straw Basket Office Building Design

Straw Basket Office Building Design

What started out as a dream by Dave Longaberger, Founder of The Longaberger Company, has been built into a giant basket to house the entire corporate offices of the company. Dave believed the idea was one of his best and would draw attention to the company, while simultaneously helping to build our brand. However, when he started spreading the idea of building a Home Office that was really a basket, he found that most people just thought that Dave was making a joke as Dave was a notorious practical joker. Not only did the bankers, architects and construction companies not take Dave seriously, neither did many of the employees who worked for The Longaberger Company, but Dave persevered. One of Dave's most admirable attributes was that when he had a dream and believed in it, he always found a way to accomplish it, and he did. Dave's dream was achieved on December 17, 1997 when the Home Office that is designed to resemble a basket finally opened for business.

In 1998, The Longaberger Home Office also received a Build Ohio Award for its synthetic plaster system. The building is made of stucco over a steel structure, which helps create the look of an actual Longaberger Basket®. The Home Office continues to attract the attention of media from around the world, even as far away as Tokyo.

While the exterior of the Home Office is a marvel in itself, the building's interior is truly breathtaking. A grand staircase, player piano and marble floors are just part of the beautiful décor of the building's seven story atrium. The majority of the cherry woodwork used in the Home Office was harvested from the Longaberger Golf Club in Hanover; dried in our facility; sawed and shaped at our Construction Woodshop; finished in our Construction Paint Booth and installed by our Construction Division.

The Home Office is a site worth touring whether you are on your way to Longaberger Homestead or any other Longaberger destination. To learn more about the Longaberger Home Office and other Longaberger attractions, please call Longaberger Guest Relations at 740-322-5588, or e-mail them at guestrelations@longaberger.com http://www.longaberger.com/ourCompany.aspx

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, and Trisha Brooks, GRI Re/Max, are ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba, and Trisha Brooks not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette 602-791-1766 and Trish 602-618-3053 today .

Strange, Weird, Odd Homes

Strange, Weird, Odd Homes




















Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, and Trisha Brooks, GRI Re/Max, are ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba, and Trisha Brooks not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette 602-791-1766 and Trish 602-618-3053 today .

Ice Hotel. Hotel Made From Ice

Ice Hotel. Hotel Made From Ice

FOOLING THE SUN
Rule 1: Heavy building materials should not be transported over long distances.
Rule 2: Shelter should only be there when necessary.
Rule 3: Transience provides a sensation of rebirth.

So why not build a hotel out of ice?
This is exactly what the Finnish firm SnowHow Ltd. does. It was founded in 1997 by architect Kimmo Kuismanen and engineer Seppo Mäkinen. Ice and snow have been in use for building huts and sculpting for a long time, but these two entrepreneurs wanted to systematically explore the architectural qualities and structural properties of frozen water. Kuismanen: 'Our aim is to bring building art to snow building.'

And so they do. Every year a hotel, chapel and exhibition halls, 3500 square meters of it, is erected in Jukkasjärvi in northern Sweden. The construction method is up to date and patented. It is based on shooting snow on steel molds in the shape of early gothic arches. After the snow has set in a few days the mold is moved to the next position, and so on. In this way long tunnels are shaped. The roof is supported by ice columns made of segments drilled out of a nearby river.

It is becoming a tourist attraction - there are already more like it - and a peculiar one too. The outside of snow and ice buildings can hardly be discerned within a polar landscape. No, snow architecture, more than any other kind, is a matter of experiencing interiors. And it's cold inside. Body heat is not capable of raising the temperature any higher than 5 Centigrade below zero. This is a temperature of keeping on the move to stay warm, and not one of contemplation. Paradoxically this is exactly what one would prefer to do, because of the special way in which the ice treats light.

In spring the experience comes to a slow end, when every penny invested in the hotel construction just beautifully melts away, to be continued next winter.
(excerpt from the book Trespassers; inspirations for eco-efficient design www.amazon.com)

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, and Trisha Brooks, GRI Re/Max, are ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba, and Trisha Brooks not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette 602-791-1766 and Trish 602-618-3053 today .

Airplane Homes. Turining Airplanes Into Land Homes

Airplane Homes

Now you don't have to go visit someone else to have your own airplane house. You can buy your own and have it erected on your property.

Below is from http://www.airplanehomes.com

We are offering a B727-200 aircraft for reuse as a home. It is our intention to deliver and set the airplane up on a column and bearing arrangement so it weathervanes. We have tried to define what we consider a “basic” airplane home. This project has all the complexities of a normal home and we will try to deliver and install it to the buyers needs, within the following limitations.

Deposit: A $2000 deposit is required to hold an Airplane Home in your name. Our team will dispatch an Architect and/or General Contractor to your land to survey, inspect and permit the site for installation. Let our experts find out if this project can be done. If for any reason we are unable to put an Airplane Home on your property we will cheerfully refund your entire deposit. If you decide for any reason that you do not want to build the Airplane Home, you will forfeit the deposit.

Boeing 727-200 Aircraft Fuselage Includes:

Exterior includes everything to make the outside look finished including radome, cockpit windows replaced with Lexan, all cabin external doors, all cabin windows, both wings removed and reinstalled at the wing root, includes the center engine inlet. Both upper and lower rudders and tabs are included to give the vertical stabilizer a complete appearance. Rudders are secured so they will not move. Landing gear doors are included and are in the up and closed position to give a streamlined external appearance. If your home is erected at 4 ft above the ground you will use the air stair doors to enter the home. If you want your home erected at elevations 5-20 ft we will construct wing stairs for your entrance. Wing rails will be an available free option.

Interior includes a basic finished interior as shown in the interior photo. Interior includes a center ceiling air conditioning duct and ceiling panels with fluorescent lights. A $5,000 budget is allowed for a basic kitchen. Overhead bins are available on request at no additional charge. Sidewall panels with window shades are included. Aircraft is delivered with a $3,000 budget for flooring; we recommend carpet or wood flooring. We will include one fully functional bathroom using conventional home fixtures. There is a $3,000 budget for painting the outside of the fuselage to the buyer’s requirements.

A 375,000 lb. capacity bearing is included (empty airplane weighs about 45,000 lbs). This auction includes the local architect, general contractor and mechanical engineering fees required to complete the project and the work Max Power Aerospace, Inc. has to do coordinating their efforts to complete the project successfully.

The expense of boring a hole for the footer is included. The bolt ring to be buried and cemented in the footer hole is included. Also included with the supporting steel column is steel flanges attached to each end. The steel flanges fasten to the footer bolt ring on the bottom and the inner ring of the bearing on the top. Crane rental fees to assemble and install the aircraft on the bearing are included. A heating and air conditioning system are included. A multi-port swivel is included to pass drinking water, electricity and phone lines up and waste water down. Max Power makes a “carrier” that connects the aircraft to the outer ring of the bearing and it is included. A conventional circuit breaker box is included and wiring to accommodate normal electrical requirements.

Does not include: Any aircraft parts that can be sold back to the aviation industry. This sale does not include aircraft engines. Center engine inlet (#2) is included, both pod engines (#1 & #3) are removed and the engine pylons are removed and the pylon areas are covered for a smooth external appearance. No landing gears or related parts are included. All the aircraft hydraulic and electric pumps and motors are removed. The cockpit has the pilot seats removed and all the avionics and instruments removed. Site preparation is not included in this auction. The buyer shall be responsible for supplying necessary utilities to the base of the column. We will take the utilities from the base of the column inside. The swivel cannot accommodate LP gas and therefore we recommend electrical appliances be used. This auction does not include any kitchen appliances.

Utilities: Bidder will provide utilities to the construction site.

Shipping: We will ship all required parts to the final location.

Options are available over and above the basic model offered in this auction.

Wing Stairs (second set - required for commercial use) $20K installed.
A functioning cockpit can be installed, based on the Microsoft Flight Simulator. $11K

Rebate Available: A $2000 rebate is available for owners that advertise our logo on the Airplane Home Tail.

Owner Financing Available: To qualified buyers.

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, and Trisha Brooks, GRI Re/Max, are ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba, and Trisha Brooks not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette 602-791-1766 and Trish 602-618-3053 today .

Treehouses. Odd Treehouse Homes

Treehouses of the world

From tiny shacks made with driftwood beside a river, to treetop observatories and towering cathedrals spanning several trees, the range of designs and styles of houses built in trees is breathtaking. A connection with nature and use of reclaimed or salvaged materials can inspire an environmentally sensitive process of building. Many of these structures are built as a temporary escape from the rat race and the pressure of busy lives and can be fitted out with beds, wood burning stoves, solar powered lighting and hand made stained glass windows

Within the world treehouse list you'll find a compilation of treehouse stories with all sorts of tree structure from fort to mansion.

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, and Trisha Brooks, GRI Re/Max, are ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba, and Trisha Brooks not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette 602-791-1766 and Trish 602-618-3053 today .

How To Sell Real Estate. How To Close A Real Estate Deal

A Priceless Way To Close A Real Estate Deal

This real estate video is very funny...well, it was to me. It is pricess:-) Have a watch!



Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Michael Jackson Faces Forced Sale of Neverland

Michael Jackson Faces forced sale of Neverland.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Michael Jackson's famed Neverland Valley Ranch in California will be foreclosed and sold on March 19 unless the pop star pays a balance of nearly $25 million, property records showed on Tuesday.

FoxNews.com celebrity columnist Roger Friedman reported on the Web site (http://www.foxnews.com) that Jackson has been formally apprised of the foreclosure and that legal documents have also been filed with the Santa Barbara County Recorder's office.

"You are in default of a deed of trust ...," Jackson was told in the five-page filing, according to a copy of the document published by FoxNews.com. "Unless you take action to protect your property it may be sold at a public sale."

According to the documents, if Jackson fails to pay the outstanding balance, estimated at $24.5 million, Neverland would be sold to the highest bidder at a public auction on the courthouse steps.

The county recorder's Web site shows that a Notice of Trustees Sale was filed against Neverland Valley Ranch on Monday but no further details were available and a spokeswoman for the office declined to comment.

Jackson's publicist, Raymone Bain, did not return calls seeking comment on the foreclosure notice.

The onetime "King of Pop" has owned the 2,800-acre (1,133-ha) ranch in the rolling foothills above the California coast since 1988, naming it after the whimsical island where children never grow up in J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan stories.

Jackson, 49, famously outfitted the property with a private zoo and amusement park and festooned it with statues of Peter Pan characters.

But the reclusive, Grammy-winning singer has spent little time at Neverland since his June, 2005 acquittal on charges that he sexually molested a young boy there after plying him with alcohol.

In 2006 state authorities ordered the property shuttered and fined Jackson for failing to pay his employees or maintain proper insurance, and the zoo animals have since reportedly been removed.

Jackson, who proclaimed himself "King of Pop" in the 1980s and scored one of the top-selling pop albums of all time in "Thriller," has since seen his fame as an entertainer eclipsed by the sometimes bizarre details of his personal life. (Editing by Eric Walsh)

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Tenant Letters to Landlords. Dear Landlord Letters

Dear Landlord Letters

Kitchen repairs
Dear Landlord, because I realise that some landlords can be rather particular about this kind of thing, I am hereby requesting your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

I found a cockroach in my food. My doctor says I'm sick of it. Will you please send someone to fumigate?

Dear Landlord, our kitchen floor is very damp. We have two children already and would like a third, so could you please send someone to do something about it.

I am requesting urgent repairs to my stove. It causes backfires and recently burnt my knob right off.

Bathroom repairs
Dear Landlord, the toilet in the second bathroom is blocked and we cannot bathe the children in there until it is cleared.

My toothbrush got stuck in the basin. Please send someone to get it out, because I cannot wash my hair.

Dear Landlord, my lavatory seat is cracked. Could you please tell me where do I stand on this?

I am having difficulty bathing myself. Please send someone to help with the bath.

Dear Landlord, our toilet seat is broke in half into three pieces.

Our lavatory is blocked. The boys next door keep throwing their balls on the roof.

Dear Landlord, this is to let you know that our toilet seat is broken and we cannot get e-TV.

Plumbing repairs
Dear Landlord, my water has a strange colour and smells funny. It is too gross for me to taste. Please could yousend a man to look at my plumbing?

The sewer is blocked and drain water is forming a dam. I don't think my dogs can swim in it. Please send someone to save them.

Dear Landlord, would you please send a man to repair my downspout? I am an old-age pensioner and need it straight away.

Dear Landlord, there are spiders that climb up the water spout, and when the rain comes, they come out. Can you please do something?

Dear Landlord, would you please send a repairman to fix the bath tap? It is very uncomfortable for us, because my wife got her toe stuck in it.

Dear Landlord, I woke this morning and found my water boiling.

Exterior repairs
Dear Landlord, will you please fix our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and fell pregnant.

Dear Landlord, remember the broken paving stone I reported? It was too small to repair back then, but I have broken four more pavers since then. Please send someone to repair them, before I cause more damage.

Neighbour complaints
The woman next door entertains men at all hours of the day. They get quite loud sometimes. Please do something before my husband decides to go over there himself.

Dear Landlord, this letter is to inform you that there is a terrible smell coming from the man next door.

The guy next door has a large erection in his back yard. It is dangerous and unsightly. What can I do about it?

Dear Landlord, I want to lay a complaint about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5:30 his cock wakes me up, and it is getting too much.

Dear Landlord, I want to complain about the neighbour's dog. It barks all hours of the day and night. It leaves little "gifts" in front of our door. I might still get used to the noise, but I find the poo hard to swallow.

Other complaints
Dear Landlord, when those repairmen were here, they stuck their dirty tools in my wife's new white drawers and made a mess. Please send some men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.

50% of the walls have rising damp, 50% have plaster crumbling off them and the other 50% are just plain filthy.

Dear Landlord, my wife hurt her ankle very badly when she put her foot in the hole in your back passage. Can you please cover it up or something?

Dear Landlord, could you please tell me when our repairs will at last be done? My wife has now become an expectant mother.

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Real Estate Advertising Explained

What real estate ads say and what they really mean... yes, really mean...

1 1/2 BATHROOM - One bathroom, the toilet has own entrance.
3 RECEPTION AREAS - Entrance hall, dining room and living room (sometimes with cabinet bar. - bar not included)
ARCHITECT DESIGNED - As a homework project in House Design 101.
ARTISTICALLY DECORATED - Full of stuff you can't use.
BRAND NEW DEVELOPMENT - Live with construction dust for a couple more years.
BREATHTAKING VIEW - Can see, and smell, rubbish dump from living room.
CLOSE TO BEACH - Impossible to park from November to December.
CLOSE TO HEALTH CENTRES - Wake up every now and then from the ambulance sirens.
CLOSE TO NATURE - Property has no services.
CLOSE TO SCHOOL - The lunch break din is deafening.
COMPACT - Tiny house.
CONTEMPORARY FEELING - House has no woodwork, needs cleaning. (Also see OLD WORLD CHARM)
CONVENIENT - Property located next to highway on-ramp.
COZY - No room larger than 3m x 2m.
DECEPTIVE APPEARANCE - House looks terrible.
DELIGHTFUL RURAL LOCATION - Property in flight path of major air force base.
DUET - Half a house.
DUET - Sing along with neighbour in the shower.
EASILY MAINTAINED - Requires at least two gardeners and live-in maid.
ENTERTAINMENT AREA - 1/2 conca-braai on cement paving in corner of backyard.
ESTABLISHED GARDEN - Weeds are well rooted.
EXTENSIVELY MODERNIZED - House got electricity last year.
EXTRA: GARDEN COTTAGE - Maid's room has been tiled.
FAMILY HOME - Ugly, impractical, and it has 3 more bedrooms than any other house in the neighbourhood, so we hope the Waltons read this.
FARMHOUSE CHARM - House with uneven floors.
FOR THE GARDENING ENTHUSIAST - Grounds like a jungle.
FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD - Neighbours tend to peep over the boundary fence.
FULL-FLOOR CARPETS - Wood floor had borer beetle.
HOUSE WITH PERSONALITY - Haunted house.
INDIGENOUS PLANTS - Haven't got around to gardening yet.
LANDSCAPED - Grass grew over mound of old building sand.
LOCAL ENTERTAINMENT CONVENIENTLY CLOSE - Sex-workers hang around on the corner.
LOTS OF PARKING - Lazy homeowner paved over front lawn.
LOTS OF STORAGE - Garage too small for a car - store your boxes of crud here.
MARKET READY - Owner feels he's covered everything up.
MASONETTE - French for "small building".
MINT - Someone has spilled mouthwash on the carpet.
MOTIVATED SELLER - Property has been on the market for the past 5 years.
MOVE IN CONDITION - Front door missing from property.
MUCH SOUGHT AFTER - Property has been on the market at least twice before, and although we got them to buy, no one wants to keep it.
NEEDS TLC - House has major structural damage.
NEUTRAL DECOR - Property has no murals of nudes and no animal body parts permanently attached, but has turquoise walls.
NORTH FACING - Couldn't find anything special about this property.
OFFERS ACCEPTED - Owner knows his price is too high.
OLD WORLD CHARM - House has some woodwork, needs cleaning. (Also see CONTEMPORARY FEELING)
ONE OF A KIND - After this one, they decided that it wasn't such a good idea after all.
OUTSTANDING - House painted yellow and purple, sticks out like a sore thumb.
OWNER EAGER TO SELL - If the house goes within a week, the polyfilla will still be covering the cracks.
PEACEFUL TOWN - One-horse town.
PERIOD RESIDENCE - House built in the last two years.
QUIET, SECLUDED SETTING - On site of proposed informal settlement.
RARE OPPORTUNITY TO BUY - No one else wants this property.
RENOVATED - Patent defects nicely covered up.
RETIREMENT HOME - You need to have saved for a very long time to buy here.
ROOM TO EXTEND - Owner knows the house is too small.
RURAL COTTAGE - House too small for agricultural tenants.
SEA VIEW - If you stand on a bar stool in the spare bedroom.
SECLUDED - See CLOSE TO NATURE.
SECURITY SYSTEM - Neighbour has a dog.
SECURE LOCATION - Head of organised crime syndicate lives next-door.
SELECT NEIGHBORHOOD - House beside sewage works.
SOPHISTICATED CITY LIVING - House next to a noisy bar.
STRIKING FACADES - House is so ugly, you can't stop staring.
STUDENT HOUSE - Normal people wouldn't live here.
SWIMMING POOL - Owners demolished the windpomp at last.
TASTEFULLY DECORATED - Kids had food-fight a number of years ago, and it proved too difficult to clean.
UNSPOILED - Planning permission granted for development of the field next door.
UNUSUAL FEATURES - No roof.
UNUSUAL LOCATION - House in the path of a planned ring road.
UPDATED KITCHEN - Sink no longer overflows.
UPDATED KITCHEN - Laid new novilon.
USEFUL OUTBUILDINGS - No inside toilet.
WALKING DISTANCE FROM BEACH - You will be parked in every holyday.
WATER FEATURES - Geyser bursts each winter.
WEALTH OF PERIOD FEATURES - Outside plumbing, dry rot, rising damp and electrical circuitry best operated in rubber gloves and boots.
WEATHER CRACKS - Wind howls through house in winter.
WEEKEND COUNTRY GETAWAY - No-one can stay here for longer than a weekend at a time.
WELL SITUATED - In full view of neighbours in the flats next door.
WIDE OPEN FLOOR PLAN - Previous owner removed all supporting walls.
WITHIN EASY DISTANCE OF LOCAL AMENITIES - Next door to a pub and opposite a sex shop.

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

House For Sale

House For Sale

A real estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little house with a hand-lettered "For Sale" sign out front.

After briskly introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, the real estate agent proceeded to cruise from room to room, opening closets and cupboards, testing faucets and pointing out where, "a new light fixture here and a little paint there", would help. "Oh, and the dogs will have to be closed off outside during viewings!"

Pleased with her assertiveness, the new realtor was confident that the owner would sign an exclusive mandate.

"Ma'am," the man said, "I appreciate the home-improvement tips and all, but I think you read my sign wrong. It says, 'Hounds for sale'"

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Unscrupulous Real Estate Agents, Disgruntled Sellers, Ruthless Buyers

This is a story of Unscrupulous Real Estate Agents, Disgruntled Sellers, Ruthless Buyers and other Impostors; Wheeling, Dealing and Stealing, telling all in droll stories, often with black humor.

Precisely, one hundred, of the Top Producers in the Nation have desks in this Number One Beverly Hills Office. The homes sold out of this singular office are among the most expensive in the world. The majority fit for Royalty and inhabited by Kings and Queens of the Entertainment and Business World. And indeed in some cases, actually by Royal Families.



Outlandish and lavish pampered lifestyles of the very, very rich. Bizarre situations of the clients who buy and sell the estates sold @ Beverly Hills Estates AND the people representing them, i.e. real estate agents, attorneys, financial advisors, business managers etc. Moral decadence, conspicuous over consumption and greed are inevitable.

This grand, dazzling and imposing real estate office has everything you'd expect from the Number One Real Estate Office in the World, in terms of dollar sales. On Tuesday morning, all the Realtors get dressed up, in their posh designer suits, driving their favorite Badge of Success, to attend their Power Meeting. After the meeting they're off to caravan the magnificent estates. Not unlike a funeral procession with all of the cars, top of the market in cost. Up Bel Air Road caravan the over-ambitious Realtors, to the tune of, Bridge Over River Kwai. Their expensive cars line up in front of the imposing estates, creating traffic jams in the long, majestic driveways. Only a handful of clients can afford such extravagant lifestyles. Therefore, they all have the same clients. However, no one admits it.

The competition is fierce; and sophisticated buyers and seller's can be devious too. After all, a $100,000+++ commission gives one a wealth of time to re-evaluate the importance of one's business relationship. The justifying is so endless and ruthless; it's comical.

A pretty, young, bright-eyed new agent eagerly goes to work @ the legendary company, to pursue the dreams she fondly referred to as, California Dreaming . Hopelessly optimistic, and totally naïve, Beverly Hills Estates is where her startling education began.

The competing offices offer a peek inside several particularly unconventional ways of life, filled with exceptionally colorful (and a few flamboyant) characters.

Selling real estate gives you an inside to the personal lives of your client's financials, habits, and from time to time; their sexual preferences, and way too often... "Too much information!"

Intense feelings of either love or hate, is felt for each fascinating character. Highly amusing with superb endings. Most important, is a strong, never-ending feeling, of HOPE. California Dreaming is just what it says. A dream... AKA Hope.

CALIFORNIA DREAMING® is Television's first comedic look at eccentric people, affluence and power, in the real estate industry of the most desired Real Estate in the world.

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Humor Sells Real Estate

Humor sells Real Estate! Realtor puts a funny, uniqe spin on selling a fixer upper. Lot's of homes on the market...this one certainly stands out!




Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

The Mortgage Letter

To Whom It May Concern:

After nine weeks and many phone calls, I am writing this letter to discuss a few items that the underwriter has not yet brought up (but probably will).

I am not now, nor have I ever been a member of the Communist Party. Neither my parents nor my grandparents were ever members of the Communist Party. I was born seven months after my parents were married. I hope this doesn't disqualify me for the mortgage, I will have my mother and father send a letter to you explaining how this happened if you feel it is necessary.

I am not a bed wetter or a terrorist.

I have no religious affiliation. If this is a problem, I will get a letter from a priest, minister, and rabbi stating they will let me join up if you feel it is necessary.

I want to apologize for having $36,000 in the bank account that I reported having $8,000. I guess if the underwriters find out that I have over $100,000 spread out in other banks and investments, I never will get the mortgage. I also want to apologize for only putting $55,000 down on a $115,000 house. I'm really concerned because my wife and I are earning only $78,000 this year. If you decide this is not enough, I will be happy to take a part time job at night at Roy Rogers. I will have the manager at Roy Rogers send you a letter if you feel it is necessary.

I am a registered Republican. I know this may not sit well with the underwriters who are Democrats. My only defense for this is anytime you see a man driving a Jaguar, wearing $600 custom made suits, $165 Gucci loafers, $70 custom made shirts, wearing a $2000 diamond pinkie ring, a $750 Cartier watch, carrying a $265 cigarette case and a $400 attache case he is either a Republican or a dope dealer. I am not a dope dealer and will send you a letter stating so if you feel it is necessary.

There are three things that concern me:

When you buy a mattress there is a label that says "Do not remove under penalty of fine or imprisonment". I'm sorry! It was a rash, impulsive thing for me to do. I was only a kid at the time. I promise I will never do it again.

In February of 1934 my grandmother missed a payment to Sears. She is dead, but I will have the undertaker send you a letter explaining why she can't send a letter explaining her delinquency if you feel it is necessary.

On April 14, 1968 I got a traffic ticket. I will certainly send a letter on this one. However, the real problem is that the police officer who issued the summons was divorced. I have requested that he send a copy of his divorce decree and separation agreement to you. I hope this will suffice.

In closing, let me thank you, the receptionist, the person who took my original application, the underwriting staff, your appraisal department, the manager of your branch, and the president of your company for granting me this loan. God willing, we will make it to the settlement table and we will realize the American Dream and live in our own home!

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Real Estate Quickie Jokes

Real Estate Quickie Jokes

My buyer told me that he lived in the same house for 10 years. When I checked, I found out he'd still be there today if the Governor hadn't pardoned him.

Why do you have your front door leading right into the dining room? So my relatives won't have to waste any time.

The sellers told me their house was near the water. It was in the basement.

How much are they asking for your rent now? Oh, about twice a day.

I have a temporary mortgage. What do you mean temporary? Until they foreclose.

Realtor sign--We have "lots" to be thankful for.

Realtor: first you folks tell me what you can afford, then we'll have a good laugh and go on from there.

The dream of the older generation was to pay off a mortgage. The dream of today's young families is to get one.

There is no longer a need for the neutron bomb. We already have something that destroys people and leaves buildings intact. It's called a mortgage.

If you think no one cares you're alive, miss a couple of house payments.

My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won't pay.

I listed a maintenance free house. In the last 25 years there hasn't been any maintenance.

Did you hear about Robin Hood's house? It has a little John.

My agent was always smiling. I didn't think anybody could have that many teeth without being a barracuda.

If you want to know exactly where the property line is, just watch the neighbor cut the grass.

Houses today don't have enough closet space. Sure they do. They're just called guest bedrooms.

Trivia: The floors of buildings are called stories because early European builders used to paint picture stories on the sides of their houses. Each floor had a different story.

A lot of homes have been spoiled by inferior desecrators.--Frank Lloyd Wright

I bought a two story house. One story before I bought, and another after.

The house is only 5 minutes from shopping . . .if you've got an airplane.

This country is great. It's the only place where you can borrow money for a downpayment, get a 1st and 2nd mortgage and call yourself a homeowner.

Home is where the mortgage is.

A housewarming is the final call for those who haven't sent a wedding present

The best part of a real estate bargain is the neighbor.

The house was more covered with mortgages than with paint.

Home: A place when you go there they have to take you in.

Charity: A thing that begins at home and usually stays there.

A man's home is his castle. That's how it seems when he pays taxes on it.

Housebroke--What you are after buying a house.

Sign next to FSBO-We shoot every third agent and the 2nd one just left.

This house has every new convenience except low payments.

The trouble with owning a home is that no matter where you sit, you're looking at something you should be doing.

They have an all electric home. Everything in it is charged.

My buyers want a new home on the outskirts---of their income, that is.

A Happy Home is a place where each spouse entertains the possibility that the other may be right though neither
believes it.

By the time you pay for a home in the suburbs, it isn't.

A Modern home is a place where a switch controls everything but the kids, and it has gadgets to do everything except make the payments.

The house has a wall to wall carpet and back to wall payment.

A typical home has a TV set that is adjusted better than the kids.

House problem: The oven is self-cleaning, but the kids aren't.

Our new house has one down payment and 240 darn payments.

Homesickness What you feel every month when the mortgage is due.

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Real Estate Frog Fairytale

Real Estate Frog Fairytale

Two women were walking through the woods when a frog called out to them and said: “Help me, ladies! I am a real estate broker who, through a curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I’ll be returned to my former state!”

One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman said, “Didn’t you hear him? If you kiss him, he’ll turn into a real estate broker!”

The second woman replied, “Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a real estate broker!”

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Real Estate Oneliner Jokes

Real Estate Oneliner Jokes

The dream of the older generation was to pay off a mortgage. The dream of today's young families is to get one.

If you think no one cares you're alive, miss a couple of house payments.

My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won't pay.

If you want to know exactly where the property line is, just watch the neighbor cut the grass.

This country is great. It's the only place where you can borrow money for a down payment, get a 1st and 2nd mortgage and call yourself a homeowner.

The trouble with owning a home is that no matter where you sit, you're looking at something you should be doing.

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Writing A Recommendation For A Fired Real Estate Agent

Have to write a letter of recommendation for that fired Agent?

For the chronically absent:
"A man like him is hard to find."
"It seemed her career was just taking off."

For the office drunk:
"I feel his real talent is wasted here."
"We generally found him loaded with work to do."
"Every hour with him was a happy hour."

For an agent with no ambition:
"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in."
"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."

For an agent who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:
"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."

For an agent who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:
"I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of
employment."
"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or
recommend him too highly."

For a stupid agent:
"There is nothing you can teach a man like him."
"I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications
whatsoever."

For a dishonest agent:
"Her true ability was deceiving."
"He's an unbelievable worker."

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

White House Foreclosure Notice

White House Foreclosure Notice.
Now is your time to purchase The White House :-)



Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Super Bowl Real Estate Ad

Super Bowl Real Estate Ad

This is a commercial for Super Bowl XLII. Unfortunately, SuperBowl Ads are a lot more expensive than the Realtor realized, and could only afford 14 seconds.



Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Redrum Realty. Dead Twins Go Into real Estate

Redrum Realty
The twins from the Shining quit haunting and seek a future in real estate.



Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

200,000 Bees Found Inside Walls Of New Home

200,000 Bees Found Inside Walls Of New Home

A buzzing noise behind the walls of a family's new home in Houston led to the discovery of more than 200,000 bees swarming inside the structure.

A mother of two and her boyfriend said they were painting their new home when they heard the noises. Then, a family member was stung by a bee inside the home.

"Somebody got stung by a bee and that is how we found out we had a bee problem," boyfriend Paul Landi said.

Landi said his girlfriend was upset when they found the swarming bees inside the walls of the home.

"We don't know if this is a problem that has been ongoing or something new, but the fact that she bought a house that has bees, for her and her girls' sake, she is really, really upset," Landi said.

The family called Gotcha Pest Control to inspect and extract the thousands of swarming bees.

A real estate broker said the family should have called a pest control expert to check for termites, bees and other insects when the house was purchased.

Beekeepers said the bees had likely been in the walls for at least a year.
Source: http://www.local6.com/news/9242978/detail.html

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

The Horror of Realtors

The Horror of Realtors

With the real estate market going down the drain, realtors are forced to resort to scare tactics. This creative house-seller fails miserably.



Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Closing Escrow

Closing Escrow - A real estate comedy



Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Real Estate Bore Song

Real Estate Bore Song
Hilarious song about Real Estate Bores! You know the people that talk property over their latte and the Agents that fuel them




Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

The Realities Of Real Estate Video

The Realities Of Real Estate Video
Ever wonder how different people see your home in their eyes. This video shows you how different people view your home, from realtor, to seller, to buyers, lender, appraiser. They all view the same house totally differently



Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

Real Estate Illegality. Mortgage Illegal Warnings

Real Estate Illegality. Mortgage Illegal Warnings

A den of real estate illegality?
Here are some warning signs your mortgage guy wasn't entirely legal.

According to FBI statements released last week, the metro area is a mortgage-fraud hotbed. That's the technical term: hotbed. This won't surprise anyone who's watched the real estate market in the last few years. You could scrawl a made-up Social Security number on a lawn gnome and roll him into some mortgage offices, and he'd get a loan. Are you the victim of hotbed-related mortgage fraud? Here are some warning signs your mortgage guy wasn't entirely legal:

• Accepted Monopoly money and gold-foil-covered chocolates at closing for the down payment.

• Would leave the closing every 10 minutes to wipe off the tanning beds in the next room.

• Used air quotes when asking if you had a "job."

• Let you use a stuffed animal to co-sign the loan.

• Gave you a loan below market interest rates based on nothing more than a phone call from the lender's CEO and concluded the closing by saying, "Nice to meet you, Senator."

• Asked if you would be interested in buying six other houses now, as long as we're here and we have the pens out and everything.

• Most telling sign your mortgage may not have been on the up and up: They lent you more money than you could ever pay back to buy a house you could not possibly afford.

Hah! Just kidding. That last one's perfectly legal.
Source:Star Tribune

Click here to Search the complete Phoenix Metro area MLS for FREE. Bette Zerba - GRI, Re/Max, is ready to help you find that Phoenix metro area new home, sell your home, or look for commercial property. With today's real estate market, bank owned, REO, Foreclosures, you need a Realtor who is knowledgeable, can negotiate and is ethical. You also need a sense of humor, and Bette Zerba not only will meet your real estate needs, but also will make you smile. It's A Great Day In Phoenix Real Estate! Put a smile on your face, Call Bette today 602-791-1766.

The Dead Are Leaving Detroit

The Dead Are Leaving Detroit

Flight of the dead: Suburban families move loved ones from Detroit cemeteries

CLINTON TOWNSHIP-- At precisely 8:57 a.m., under an overcast sky, Francesco and Francesca Imbrunone were re-laid to rest. A man in a dark suit stood over their remains proclaiming that they "await the resurrection."

If that promise holds true, then it would be, in a way, the Imbrunones' second resurrection. As it happens, the couple was buried nearly 50 years ago in Detroit's Mount Olivet Cemetery on the city's east side. Then their grandchildren decided to disinter them, move them to the leafier suburbs and bury them again this particular morning.

"He'd complain, 'Why did you spend the money?' " said Francesco's granddaughter, Gerry Seip. "My grandmother? She'd just cry."

By now the statistics are as well known in London as they are in Livonia. Detroit has lost half its population since its heyday of the 1950s, and every year the city hemorrhages an estimated 5,000 people more. First it was white flight to the suburbs; then with the city's continued spiral into poverty and violence, blacks began to flee to those same suburbs. And while census figures show that whites are returning to some of the nation's largest cities, Detroit is experiencing a flight of a different kind. As the Imbrunones' second funeral demonstrates, Detroit is experiencing the flight of the dead.

The movement of the dead from the nation's largest black city to its overwhelmingly white suburbs is a small, though socially symbolic phenomenon, revealing the grinding problems of race, crime and economics that plague both sides of Eight Mile.

From 2002 through 2007, the remains of about 1,000 people have been disinterred and moved out of the city, according to permits stored in metal filing cabinets in the city's department of health. Looked at in another way, for about every 30 living human beings who leave Detroit, one dead human being follows. Moreover, anecdotal evidence compiled by a Detroit professor suggests the figure may be twice as high, meaning city records may be incomplete and that thousands upon thousands of deceased people have been relocated from the city over the past 20 years.

Moving to Macomb
The practice appears to be most common among families like the Imbrunones: former east side Catholic Detroiters who moved to Macomb County years ago, miles away from their dearly departed. The cemetery that appears to lose the most is Mount Olivet, located in the heart of the wild east side, with about 100 disinterments a year. The destination of choice seems to be Resurrection Cemetery in Clinton Township, which is now home to 11 members of the Imbrunone family.

Although there is little information or statistical evidence regarding the phenomenon across the country, it is quite likely that Detroit and its surrounding communities lead the way, as it does in population loss among the living.

The reasons are two-fold, surmises Patrick Lynch, a Clawson funeral home director and executive board member of the National Funeral Directors Association. "People have to drive to a place that may take them through neighborhoods they otherwise may never go," he said. "Their safety might be compromised. Whether that is real or perceived, it's real to them.

"Second, families have left the city and they want to bring their family members closer to them," Lynch said. "People have grown older and they simply don't or can't drive to the city anymore. They want to be near to those they love."

Such is the case with the Imbrunone clan, whose patriarch Francesco came from Sicily to America in the hull of a ship in 1902 and made his new life in Detroit. He was an anonymous man, a laborer who lived in boarding houses and swept factory floors. He would return to Italy occasionally until his wife Francesca demanded that he bring her and their children to the United States in 1937.

Three generations of the Imbrunones made a home on the east side of Detroit near Harper and Gratiot where the trolley cars turned around, a place the Italians called Caccalupo. It was nine people in a first floor flat.

Francesco was a simple man, who drank only wine and is said to have washed his face with his mouth closed so that no water would touch his palate. His wife Francesca never learned English, but taught her granddaughters Italian. They attended Mass together and the family sold vegetables at Eastern Market, saved its money, and bought property in 1960 in St. Clair Shores. Francesco died a few months before the family left the city. He died happy, by all accounts. He went to nap with a belly-full of pasta and never awoke.

"He knew," said his granddaughter, Fran Palazzolo, 61. "He couldn't go. He didn't want to leave Detroit. But I guess he finally had to."

For fear, convenience
The granddaughters, being the next of kin, elected to pay the approximately $5,000 to move their grandparents to Macomb County because they wanted to be closer to them. "In our family you don't forget about your people," Palazzolo said. "I hope that's human. It's at least Italian."

Love. That was one part of the decision. There is another.

"To tell you the truth, yes, it's fear," Palazzolo said. "Have you been to Detroit? I pray the car doesn't break down. I cringe when I drive down Gratiot. I'm worried for my life. There's a lot of bad people in Detroit. But to tell you the truth, there's a lot of bad people out here. But at least we're closer this way."

Earlier this summer Peter Cracchiolo, 89, of Grosse Pointe Shores, removed his mother and sister from Mount Olivet and relocated them to Resurrection. Cracchiolo, too, grew up on the city's east side and his family was part of the great white exodus. His explanation for moving his dearly departed was convenience, though the Detroit cemetery is closer to his home.

"I've already got relatives up there," he said of the suburban cemetery. "I've got friends up there. It's one-stop visiting this way. Me, I don't forget my people. No sir."

The children of Jack W. Noble Sr. moved their father in May to the Great Lakes National Cemetery in Holly from Gethsemane Cemetery in Detroit, citing the poor condition and upkeep of the cemetery, according to a permit filed with the city.

Dr. Stephen Vogel, dean of architecture at the University of Detroit Mercy, believes the out-migration of the dead from Detroit is undercounted.

He and his researchers conducted a study three years ago, interviewing the director of each of Detroit's 28 cemeteries. According to that study, about 400 to 500 disinterments occur each year.

"What it says to me is that there is a deeply ingrained fear on the part of suburbanites in terms of their attitude toward the city and its hold is very powerful and very deep," Vogel said. "When they're afraid to cross Eight Mile to visit a cemetery, it tells you what we're up against and any solutions are not going to be easy."

Which is not to say that cemeteries like Mount Olivet are emptying out. In fact, 1,200 burials a year are conducted at Mount Olivet since the cemetery made the decision 10 years ago to allow non-Catholics to enter, said Mark Gracely, the cemetery's director. "We've even had people mail us cremated remains from Florida," he said.

As for the Imbrunones, their family took the headstones with them and the cost of the old plot was applied toward the new plot.

In the meantime, the old east side home of the family has been razed; leaving no physical memory of the humble lives lived by Francesco and Francesca Imbrunone. Source: Detroit News.

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